Thursday 02 April 2020
I remember about 2 years ago, I was walking home in the dark at about 9pm. The roads were quiet and there weren’t many people out and about. Out of the corner of my eye, I observed a fox walking adjacent to me on the other side of the road. He seemed to be fully aware of me.
I lost sight of him for a couple of minutes and then became aware of him being behind me. Every now again he would stop in driveways and then pop up again behind me. I had this image of a very aware creature that had full understanding of my behavior, was very sly and seemed to know my next move before I did. I got a sense that he was chuckling at me as his awareness and survival instinct was superior to mine, and he was completely aware of everything I was doing.
The next day, I was watering my garden and there was a fox sitting on my fence. He was just watching me and relaxing. I thought to myself, let me test this fox and see how he reacts to a squirt of water. As I was at the back of the garden the water from the hose reached nowhere near the Fox. He just looked at me and I got an image of him smirking at me. I moved forward and extended the hose so the hose water would reach the fox. I saw the fox watching me intently and watching the hose. He then just got up slowly and backed off to the very back of the fence and then sat back down again. I wondered why the fox did this. I then realized that my hose wasn’t long enough to reach where he was sitting and got the feeling that the fox knew this all along!
It occurs to me that this is how cravings work. Your cravings are always walking along beside you. They are fully aware of you at all times and know exactly what you are doing. They understand fully all of your vulnerabilities.
Like the fox, there are times when you don’t think they are there, but they are operating in the shadows, until all of a sudden, they pop up out of the blue. At times they seem to know your next move before you do. Your cravings may seem to have this superior sly smirk, as if to say “I understand you better than you understand yourself”.
Like the hose scenario, your cravings may be able to detect at times that the resources you possess are not long enough or strong enough to reach your determination of abstaining from drugs.
That is why it is imperative that you fully understand your cravings, how devious you think they can be, how they are always observing you even when you are not aware. The greatest thing about this is you are as aware as the fox even if you don’t know it. The fox has learnt these skills as it had to learn to survive. These are the skills you need to learn and install for your survival.